Fill in the blank – are you good enough? Smart enough? Understanding enough? Benevolent enough? Harsh enough? Strict enough? Thin enough? Confident enough? Having insecurities and questioning whether I am ________ enough seems to be part of every human being’s struggle. I struggle to be a good enough Mother, business partner, consultant, spouse, sister, friend, coworker, sister-in-law, fan, community member, volunteer, board member and so on. I’m sure you do too!
In a family business, our struggles with imperfection come with a lot of “baggage”. Understanding each other’s strengths and personality styles contributes to a healthy culture at work as well as in family relationships. Understanding contributes to better communication, improved conflict resolution and improved relationships – with co-workers, family members, friends or other individuals I interact with on a regular basis.
Tolerance is not the same as understanding. I can tolerate my partner’s behaviours but if I don’t work to understand them, resentment is likely to build up. Working to understand them can be facilitated by participating in dialogue and also through family retreat activities. Once I understand the behaviours, I am often more accepting. My stress levels come down because I am less likely to accidentally trigger stress related responses in others. When I am under stress, it is either because one or more of my needs are not being fulfilled or I am being asked to draw upon traits that are pale in my DNA.
I react differently to each of these 2 types of stressors. These flight or fight reactions are experienced by all humans, but because my triggers are different from my partner’s, they may fly under the radar. For example, if I am being asked to use a “pale” trait more than I am comfortable using, I may retreat and withdraw any use of this trait. This passive aggressive behaviour can be misconstrued as “stubborn” or “silent treatment” – my “flight response”. On the other hand, if I’m not getting my esteem needs met, I am likely to overuse my strong traits, turn up the volume and increase the wattage! Receivers of these behaviours are likely to interpret them as aggressive – my “fight response”.
Want to understand your personality strengths and improve communication, conflict resolution and teamwork? Join us at our Great Family Leadership Retreat and participate in fun, engaging activities designed to improve relationships and communication- a key success factor for family businesses.
Goals of the Retreat
- to CELEBRATE being part of a family business.
- to INSPIRE family leaders: both business leaders and family leaders to venture beyond the cultural norms, default cultures and past experiences to build an interdependent, collaborative team.
- to DISCOVER effective and innovative approaches to communication, family development, governance and succession.
- to STIMULATE the exchange of information and ideas among family businesses by bringing them together
- to REFLECT deeply on our own attitudes, methods, and behaviour as family business owners in a supportive and engaging environment
- to RENEW our commitment to supporting the continued success of the family and the family business.
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